Siemens People Builders

Stop All Criticism
Criticism never changes a thing. It leads to defensiveness, non-listening, no problem solving, and disaster. Refuse to criticize yourself and others. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Do the same for others. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive. The same is true for others.

Don’t Scare Yourself
Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine are mountains and oceans), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

Be Gentle And Kind And Patient
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really love.

Be Kind To Your Mind
Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts. Remember the proverb: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

Praise Yourself
Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Samuel Taylor Cooleridge says, “The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions–the little, soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment.” Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

Support Yourself
Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. Be strong enough to ask for help when you need it. Great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.

Be Loving To Your Negatives
Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now, you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.

Take Care Of Your Body
Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

Mirror Work
Life is like a mirror. If you frown at it, it frowns back. If you smile at it, it returns the greeting. Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself as you look into the mirror. Talk to your parents as you look into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: “I love you, I really love you.”

Love Yourself
Do It Now - Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now — and do the best you can. As was said in the movie, Dead Poet Society, “Carpe Diem!” Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.

If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one. And if you don’t think you are a person of value and worth, just think of the emptiness so many would feel if you were not in their lives.

Treat yourself and others RIGHT today!

And these are just my thoughts on a Friday morning, the day after Thanksgiving!

THE PEOPLE BUILDER,

Steve Siemens, CSP
Siemens People Builders

“That’s a good idea, but…” “That’s an interesting thought, but…” “Your report was fine, but…” “I should spend more time with my family, but…” Have you heard any of these statements before? Maybe you were the person saying them. Either way, the but in each phrase causes a problem because it cancels out the good things that precede it. When people hear you use the word but in a sentence, you’re telling them to discount whatever came before it and pay attention to what follows. Instead of using the word but, try using the word and. For example: “That’s an interesting thought and here’s something else to think about.”

The word but can also cause a problem when it is used to make an excuse for something you didn’t do. For example: “I would have made the phone call, but…” This is an excuse and communicates that the phone call you should have made wasn’t that important.

On the topic of excuses, Peter Ueberroth, chairman of the 1984 Olympics, used a sign for the planning committee that read: “Lack of planning on your part does not constitute a crisis on my part.” That puts excuses into perspective. It simply says don’t make excuses; take action. We all have the same amount of time in a day. Only dead people have no time and only living people say, “I don’t have time.” That doesn’t make sense. So stop making excuses for poor use of time or poor planning.

A much better way to handle the situation of a missed phone call is to say, “I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I wasn’t watching the time so I didn’t get it done.” Unlike the first response, this is an honest statement that communicates you’re taking ownership for not making the call. It just sounds better and is more honest.

I feel strongly that the place this word is overused the most is in our families. If we use it too much at work, we may get fired. If we use it too much with our friends, we may lose our friends. In those situations we know that there are consequences. However, when we use it with our families we tend to think it will all work out OK. Although most people will tell you that their families are top priorities, their day-to-day, month-to-month activities may tell a completely different story.

Jennifer James, a former Seattle columnist, once pointed out, “When we’re moving fast, sometimes the relationships we care most about get short-changed. We think those we love will forgive us if we spend most of our time on other things. But a child may grow up before we notice that hours of being too busy have extended into days, weeks, months, and years. This is a bit of what happened to the boy who recently divorced his mother. She always thought there would be time to get back together.” She was wrong.

My wife does a great job reminding me of this. There are times when what we are doing may seem the most important thing at that moment, but it may really be stopping to listen to a child, or hugging your spouse, or calling a friend. One of the biggest reasons to stop using the word but is because it de-values others and makes them feel unimportant.

We didn’t always make it to the dinner table together as a family so we made breakfast a priority. When I was president of the college and out of town most weekends, going to Village Inn for breakfast together on Monday morning was set in stone. Not only did we strengthen our family, we developed a great friendship with our server, Lisa, which lasted many years. (And our kids found out about chocolate chip pancakes!)

So when you find yourself using but in a way that discounts what others have said, or to make an excuse, change your approach and focus on your words. A simple word like and can make such a big difference. If you are using and more than but, keep it up. Why? Because you’re building connections to the hearts of others. If you aren’t… just and over the buts!

And these are just my thoughts on a Monday morning!

Steve Siemens, CSP
THE PEOPLE BUILDER

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back:

Time
Words
Opportunity

Three things in life that may never be lost:

Peace
Hope
Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable:

Love
Self-confidence
Friends

Three things in life that are never certain:

Dreams
Success
Fortune

Three things that make a man/woman:

Hard work
Sincerity
Commitment

Three things in life that can destroy a man/woman:

Alcohol
Pride
Anger

If I had the ability to rub a bottle and a Jeannie would appear granting me three wishes, I’d only ask for one. Just give me 60 days

If we went 60 days without a negative comment, if we went 60 days without anyone complaining, and if we went 60 days with everyone doing the right things, just think what we could do!

Why don’t you make the next 60 days more than a wish?

Steve Siemens, CSP
THE PEOPLE BUILDER

Do you believe you can exert control over your future, or do you feel that you are at the mercy of fate?  Today we are going to talk about how beliefs affect what happens to us.

The amount of control you believe you have over your life has a great deal to do with what you are willing to try, and therefore it also has a great deal to do with what you accomplish.

A couple of years ago, you may have seen an item on the news about a vintage airplane that was forced to ditch in Elliott Bay.  On approach to Boeing Field, the pilot and crew on this test flight realized that the landing gear was not down.  They manually lowered the landing gear, and locked it.  Then, the engines shut down, completely.  Landing at Boeing Field was impossible, as was the highway or city streets. The only option was to set this 33,000-pound plane down on the water - with no power from the engines.  If you’ve seen the video, you know the pilot avoided all obstacles, and made one of the sweetest landings ever seen.  The crew escaped without getting their feet wet!

Granted, this pilot and the other three individuals on the plane were highly trained professionals.  However, if the pilot hadn’t believed he had control over his own life, and the situation in which he found himself, the outcome would have been far worse.  Dozens and dozens of people would have died and been injured, along with incredible loss of property.

So if you are feeling helpless and victimized, take heart and take action - any action you can manage that will get you moving in the direction you want to go.  By the way, the plane, which was bound for the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum Annex at Dulles, finally made it there - on a flatbed train car!